Blessings counted

16.10.12.

Today I collected the boy super-early and got home by half past four. I've not returned home before six o'clock for much of this term. I decided to seize the opportunity to leave school soon after the bell, get home, feed the boy and attempt to relax.

Unfortunately, I actually got myself into a bit of a tizz, dwelling on a list of gripes that made me feel sad and fed-up:

1. Teaching full time is really hard work; I'd love to drop down to four days.

2. Our finances won't allow for number 1 on the list.

3. My commute is too long; Dexter is increasingly struggling with the journey home.

4. I spend an average of one hour with the boy each day.

5. Every penny has to be accounted for.

6. I'm ready to live in a house now - with a garden, drive and additional bedroom. This is not going to happen overnight.

7. The boy is still wordless. I have not had/made the time to make a doctor's appointment to investigate this further.

8. Our immediate families are too far away to be able to give regular, hands-on help.

9. It's dark all the chuffing time.

10. It was the final episode of 'The Great British Bake-Off' this evening; I am bereft.

I took most of the above (with the exception of numbers 9 and 10) out on my very patient and wonderful husband.

I also watched a ten-minute 'Stand-up to Cancer' film on Channel Four. It featured a lovely family who had lost their little girl to cancer. Heartbreaking. Tragic. Off the scale in comparison to my list.

I reflected, got a grip and went to bed.