I am Sad Sack from 'Raggy Dolls' because:
1. My eye is so infected I look like an actual bog monster/anti vivisection poster (think distressed gerbil).
2. I am incompetent mother whose child has now started having tantrums in the middle of the road!
3. Said child has now adopted Amelia at nursery in the absence of Sarah/actual mother (see comments above re. general motherin' incompetence). He grabbed onto her legs today in manner of starved boa constrictor.
4. The head teacher commented on how miserable I looked today. He normally regards me as generally jolly type with questionable hair and a quirky but effective approach in the classroom. Mrs Sad Sack I am usually not.
5. Some over-the-counter eye drops, flu capsules and an extra-hot bath have not repaired my sagging stitches.
Disclaimer: having just googled 'Raggy Dolls' and Sad Sack, I don't even think he was in need of stitching back up. Just so you know, I am.